my biggest challenge

You are my biggest challenge. Ruining my life, my family relations, my belief. I need help. I need to outgrow myself. I feel underestimated and shattered. I don't want to be myself anymore.

Horrible feeling. I thought I could hurt you. I tried to be stern, consitent and determined for only a few hours and the next day I found you lost some weight. That's because you refused any healthy food as usual and you had not got any snacks or sweets. This showed me how spoilt you were. It was all my fault. All these bargaining, giving you sweets to make you walk, get dressed or sitting quietly. I've spoilt you.

And it is not only your food habits. You don't want to walk - you prefer being carried. You don't want to wash yourself, or get dressed. And every step I need to take I have to struggle. And you get frustrated so easily you may hurt anyone around. I have troubles carrying you away from the playground where you shove dust at your playmates because they would not share. That tantrum was the last drop. You bit my hand. I had the biggest breakdown.

Since that day I changed my ways. We do not go to the playground. I do not take your scooter - you have to walk on your own. We spend our quality time together.

But now my husband is so hard on me as if he is the boss but not a partner. He wants to see the immediate results and he does not give a damn to the hard work I am doing. And you are still naughty. Horrible threes.

Taking it all apart... and putting it all so neatly.

You are so smart. You are my biggest hope. I know there will be new you, new me.